I wish I could tell you that worrying is an easy habit to break and that once you’ve caught yourself worrying a few times and problem solved those worries that your worrying days are over.
I’m afraid that’s probably not going to be the case.
For those of us especially who have been worrying for years (my earliest worry memory is probably from around age 7) the worry habit is under our skin and in our very make-up. It can be such an ingrained habit that we don’t even really notice we’re doing it until someone points it out.
Worry and negative thinking is a habit and like many negative habits it’s going to be hard to break.
Hard, but not impossible.
Hard, but absolutely definitely do-able.
There isn’t a quick fix - if there was I would have found it by now - but nor do you have to resign yourself to being a worrier for life. Whilst I’m not convinced any of us can be completely worry-free (if you are, please get in touch!) I am convinced that with consistent, committed practice you can start to retrain your brain to think differently and worry less.
Consistency is the watchword here, by which I mean regular, committed practice.
A reminder of the steps to managing worry
If you’re in need of a reminder (and aren’t we all sometimes?) here are the three key steps to managing worry:
Catch yourself worrying - Learn to notice when you’re worrying about something as early as possible. Telltale signs might include becoming wrapped up in thought rather than mindfully present or those anxious feelings in your chest, or stomach, that are triggered by your worried thoughts.
Challenge your worried thoughts - Ask yourself whether you can do anything about your worry, is it practical or hypothetical, and then ask yourself what you can do about it and when. If your worry is hypothetical (for example it might start with ‘what if?’) then move onto step 3.
Change your thinking - Turn your worried thought around, challenge how likely it is to happen and then mindfully turn your attention to something else, preferably physical, whether that’s five minutes of exercise, moving out into the garden, reading a book or mindfully making a cup of tea.
You can read about these steps in more detail in this blog post.
The key to retraining your brain to worry less
Teaching your brain to focus less on worrying thoughts is all about consistency, doing the same thing over and over and over. The more you catch yourself worrying and challenge those worried thoughts, the more you build new pathways in your brain (this is known as neuroplasticity, you can read more about that here) Research has shown that the more you use those more positive ‘thought challenging’ pathways, the easier it becomes for your brain to send your thinking that way instead of down its old negative, fearful paths.
I am proof that this works. The more I have challenged my thoughts and mindfully refocused my brain during a worry, the less I have found myself worrying. I still worry sometimes, but so much less than in the past, and when I do I find it much easier to get through the worry and out the other side rather than falling into a mental worry-hole that I can’t seem to get out of.
How to make regular practice easier
It’s not easy at first to get into the habit of catching and challenging your worries. Here are a few ideas that might help:
Look out for the anxious feelings that are often triggered by worrying thoughts. If you catch yourself feeling this way, ask yourself what you were thinking about just before and problem solve those thoughts.
Pop a post-it note with ‘What are you worrying about right now?’ or something similar on your mirror, in your laptop (for when you open it) or elsewhere to remind yourself to check in on your thinking and jump back into the present.
Practice mindfulness as much as you can. The more you train your brain to be in the present, the easier you’ll find it to practice worrying less. I use the Headspace app every day even if it’s just for a three-minute mindfulness practice.
Set a reminder on your phone to check in on your thinking every few hours.
You can also now use WorryTree itself to help you build a consistent, committed worry management practice. When we launched WorryTree Plus earlier this year, one of the extra features for Plus users was the ability to set up to six push notifications a day to remind you to check in with your thinking and worrying thoughts. This week we’re making this feature available to ALL of our users. Make sure you upgrade to the latest version by visiting your App Store or Play Store and then head into ‘Settings’ from the main menu where you can set up to six daily push notifications.
I found it best to build these up from two a day and I am now receiving four little reminders a day to check in with my thoughts and work through any worries there and then.
With consistent, committed, and daily practice, you’ll soon find yourself needing to check-in with yourself less, you’ll have a clearer, more positive mindset and you’ll be much more present in your life and with your loved ones.
Give it a try and let us know how you get on!